Your Eyes but My Views

Dear Kiddos,
    Another letter from Rajuppa. Wait, wait, wait.  I think I should stop using Rajuppa while writing letters to you, for I have become a 'Father' myself. Of course, not an unusual accomplishment for the most in a Country of billions; the inevitable next stage once you get married.
  I still wonder why do I write letters to people whom can't read and comprehend them as I write them. May be, I wish to record myself in addition to recording events from your life. May be, I wish to see how I change over the years as I grow with you. May be not. Yet this introductory letter and anything that follows this with the same title are supposedly a living record of what I see through your eyes. 

       I often tend to think that you need not have to be in someone else's shoes to be sensitive of their positions or privileges. Therefore even before I attained fatherhood, I thought I knew what it it is to be a father. Moreover, being a Rajuppa to my nieces is not an ordinary blessing,I feel . Perhaps the most contentful role I have ever been associated with till date. Yet Rajuppa and Raju as appa are as distinct as they are similar.
        ..,.....

          

மகள் புராணம்- III

  Under this title, I usually cover about few incidents of my liking involving my nieces. Here comes one and this time it is about Deekshi.

       ***************************

The first thing Deekshi wants to know about if I go home is  the no.of days I would stay there. She starts counting using her fingers immediately after asking "Ethna naal thanguveenga".
***************
 DDs and myself tend to plan to do small things of their liking whenever I go home. Of late, after my becoming a father, she claimed however without complaining, that the first thing I do is to go visit Maegha even before planning to do things with her.
****************
 When Deekshi was asked to wait outside of the room for a few moments when Nithya was feeding Maegha , she felt bad for and worried about me as I have to spend a lot of time outside and alone whenever Nithya feeds Maegha, particularly during night time.
*****************
Though determined to see a baby girl for Nithya, Deekshi couldn't wait and asked Nithya to cut open her tummy to identify the baby's gender only to place her back there again.
******************
Worried about her yet-to-be-born niece Deekshi wanted her then mother-to-be Nithya to swallow a few toys and mobile-phone-games so that her niece could play without feeling bored inside.
*****************
 In order to prove her integrity, Deekshi touches her mid-head to claim that it's not so hot and hence she stands vindicated. She still believes my claim that whoever tells a lie could feel hot in their mid-head.

**************
While the rest of the family feels relieved about my getting married, Deekshi (stands by me)claims that she couldn't  spend quality time with me after Nithya's arrival. However there is a lot of willingness to welcome Maegha in her.

***************


Similar posts are available here :
http://www.rajeevganth.blogspot.in/2013/11/endearing-infancy.html

http://rajeevganth.blogspot.com/2014/02/vaaa-vaaa-happpieee.html?m=1

மகளே வா!

என்

விந்திட்ட வினை

வினையிட்ட விதை 

உதிரத்து உதயம்

தேகத்து அசல் நகல்

என்

மண வாழ்வின் சாட்சி

மரபணுவின் நீட்சி

என்றோ வரும் 

என் முடிவுரைக்கு

தயாராய்  நானியற்றும் முன்னுரை

மகளே வா! 

வளர்வோம் வா!

குழந்தையாய் நீயும்,

  தந்தையாய் நானும் !

Dignified old age

Dear Kiddos,

              I hold a tendency to write in Tamil whenever I wish to write letters to you. It's not because I wanted you to learn Tamil but I wanted to deny you the opportunity to find faults at my English writing skills. Albeit due to some technical issues with Google-transliterate tool in my mobile device, I am impelled to write in English. 

      A few weeks from now, we are gonna see the blissful presence of two more babies in our family. Despite all sense of urge for  gender-equality and neutrality, I think I am inclined to expect both the babies to be boys. At the least, one baby boy is a respite, I feel, misogynistically, perhaps.                  And I know very well that I am at odds with your expectations, for , all 3 of you girls would want to have 2 more younger sisters. A girl army, feels so complete to you. 

 However my writing this letter is not about that. Its about what role I might be expected to play a few decades later in your life. Perhaps it's about what not to expect of me.
              I wish to talk about life of old aged. Its too early to think about this, let alone talking about this with you infants. However, I wanted to go on record about my current state of mind about this.Attitudes change, evolve but I have always felt complete by expressing myself. I am not the same now and what I was a decade back.
             
 Joint living was a norm until a few decades back in Tamil family system wherein multiple couples, usually sibling families and parent-son families, live with their respective kids together in a single home. There is no denial that in few such cases, the younger generations were compelled to live together due to variety of reasons including running family owned business.
            However in the recent decades, people get separated from their parents, move out of their respective locality ,   and live in crowded, centralized cities for want of appropriate economic opportunities, livelihood options , better standard of living etc. Nuclearisation of family happens thus. Older parents stay at home. Few of those elders are forced to stay aloof.
             And the latest trend  is the de-nuclearisation of  family system. Herein, younger couples take their older parents with them not just because they wanted their company, give them moral support at their senile ages but also because the elders are the new-age baby sitters. This is pretty much the case in families where both the husband and wife are working.
             While parents will be willing to own this new-age responsibility of baby-sitting their grand-children, I doubt if they would be comfortable enough doing that. While my parents will find themselves unfit in a city like Chennai where I am currently destined to live, I would become an outcast a generation later when you expect me to baby-sit in a foreign soil.
           Dignified living demands that I live in a place of my choice with a life fulfilled with right mix of affection, love, care, trust, respect, financial independence, emotional inter-dependence, social support among others. Nobody can dictate me just because I grow older. 

              

Kiddos

Dear Kiddos,
     I am not sure why I tend to write letters quite often. Letter writing has become my way of life, it seems. So here comes another letter to you all.
          Amidst the excited, frenzied, environment of celebrating Deekshi's birthday yesterday, as I write this letter, I tend to recollect few of the recent happenings from our interactions.
            As we are expecting two babies, coming one after the other, in our family any time soon, the recent conversations amongst us have been largely about babies. What will be the gender of those babies is the moot point of discussion most of the times.
             With already 3 baby girls in our family, we elders have a penchant for baby boys. Two boys will be blissfull while atleast one will be assuring, felt, the elders like me. Two more girls though, will not go uncelebrated, we promise you.
    However, all 3 of you would love to see two more sisters joining your gang. Deekshi, you have named the 5 member girl gang as 'Rowdy Gang' while Darshi shrugged off saying she doesnt know why she would love to hang out with an
 all-girl-gang but thats what she wishes for.
          And the youngest of all 3 of you-Jini- is clever enough to wish for a baby girl for her mother at the least while she is comprimising enough with a baby boy for her Chiththi. And a few other girl cousins of you are hell-bend in wanting for additional girls. And I am wondering what could be behind your thoughts for your predilection for girl babies.
              That said, you may wonder what could be the reasons for our longing for baby boys, I suppose. Let me not explore and explain what rationality could be behind our mutual preferences. Its a preference which could very well be made on emotional and sentimental underpinning. However I expect it to be made not on prejudicial basis.
             And the prejudices run miles and amok. All those are gender based determinations. Social mores dictate different roles for different genders.  Masculinity and feminity are not solely determined by  biological and psychological limits here. Socio-religious, paternal attitudes run deep in limiting human tendency here.
                May you not worry about this now. But lets talk about that for sure when you grow a little older. 

Another letter

Dear Amma-Appa,
     Here comes my first letter to you both. I haven't have found the need for writing one so far, for I have had articulated myself quite honestly in your physical presence. Now, there seems to be a communication gap between us. More so, since the talk of my marriage was in air since a year and half back.
       Until a few years ago, there were susceptible and sensible concern within you about the delayed start of/break in my professional career. Even then, I was leading a contentful life with the right proportion of love, happiness, togetherness, fulfillment except for living too dependent on you and my brothers financially. I consider that phase of my life as very much explorative, enlightening and endearing. That phase was instrumental in shaping me as a person.
   As I am a married software professional now, I expect you to be living in peace. However you still harbour the same sense of worry and disappointment even after my getting married. This uncalled for preoccupation is borne primarily out of your concern for my well-being. The secondary reason is that you consider yourselves to be morally accountable for arranging  and spearheading this marriage of mine with Nithyaji. The other two marriages held in our family were love marriages.
   Let me clear the air now. Before that, let me tell you a story. A story with a few disaggregated  scenes. At the outset let me put this disclaimer. I am not a good story teller. My random attempts at story-telling to my nieces have ended up in my sleeping while it was meant to induce sleep on our kids. Yet I know you wouldn't mind listening to it.

Scene: 1
   An Alzheimer inflicted wife forgets everything and everyone except her husband and his name.
Scene :2
   A husband who used to board a 5'O clock train at 4.30 itself risked missing his train even after having boarded it on his usual time. He detrained at around 4.55 to get a bottle of packaged cool-drinks for his wife. He claimed that she doesnt wish for things usually and he wouldn't want to let her miss this cooldrink which she had asked for at the nth minute.
Scene 3:
   A wife voluntarily and impulsively stretched her hand to hold her husband who was tripped while stepping up in an escalator. This happens despite she herself finding difficult to step on it.
Scene 4:
     A husband who had never thought about availing any health or life insurance in his young age, strives to secure his wife's financial independence in his absence ,and thus her dignity by nominating her name for a few lakh rupees worth of govt.bonds.
Scene 5:
  A wife complains about frequent squabbles popping out with her husband. However when a family friend was complaining about frequent misunderstandings with his wife in their older ages, she goes extra-mile in trying to understand(her husband)  whether such misgivings in life could be because of old age.
   ******End of the story*****.

The first scene in this story was from a Tamil movie called "Oh Kadhal Kanmani" while the rest were happenings from your own life.  A life of a woman in her 60's and a man in his 70's. It was not a life of a newly married couple who were in their honeymoon period.
         Herein, I do not want to paint your marital life as a hassle free and flawless one. These incidents of love, care, sensitivity and understanding do not establish  your marital life as the perfect one for it had its won share of ups and downs. Of course, life is all inclusive.
      However, it only indicates that I am inducted into marital life. Because I have stopped viewing you both just as my parents. You appear as a senior couple to me. I am tempted to see everything marital in others' relationship. I think I am getting engulfed  in  the  tides of family life even within  a  year  of  getting  married - for good or bad.
    Let me try to explain my marital life by a simple case. I have travelled home for atleast  9 times since last April. 5 of those inevitable travels were without Nithya. Although I get immersed in the company of urs, our kids, a few sisters and or in the special events etc in the first day of my stay, I tend to think about and miss Nithya on the second day. However, she is caring, understanding and open enough to let me stay for a day more if in case I wish.  I haven't have  availed that 'comfort' yet.
         Further, I dont hold a tendency to peek through our neighbourhood windows to find out the fun the inhabitants living there have or the goods they possess. I live life in my own right and might. But I have learnt and unlearnt  to accept, agree, accomodate, adjust and thus accomplish in life. Comparisons, judgements, jealousy and thus resentments are very rare in my life at this age.
   This sums up my life for you. And regarding the arranged marriage vs love marriage debate, I  hold myself accoutable for actions I have committed and omitted in life. My marital decision was more of mine than it was yours. I standby that.
      Moreover, you both tend to declare that the  life-partner choices of my brothers are perfect, whenever you find a chance even though you were initially reluctant about and refusing their choices. When you both exhibit such a maturity , as a son of yours , why wont I? After all I am not just a year older now but also a year wiser and matured since I am married. Of course there are a few grey hairs on my moustache  now.
    So go, get and retain peace. We love you.
                                                                                         


     

De-monetization of marriage :Status and wedding

It cant get better anymore. This is the moment. Let me share my thoughts on wedding.

      We dont usually care about the society except when we are worried about what the society thinks of us. This invisible character- society- although not invincible does influenze our decisions. 

      I find it difficult to digest the fact that wedding gets prioritized over marriage. Marriage is a gateway to longterm relationship but wedding is a mere socio-legal formalisation of that marriage process. 

         Wedding is single day event but marriage is an enduring commitment founded on  trust, respect, love, mutuality, esteem etc. Wedding serves social purpose of informing the society of a couple's engagement in a new relationship but marriage has biological, psychological purpose too. 

     Ideally the focus should have been on marriage rather than wedding. We are missing the wood for the tree. Some marriages end up as a disaster precisely because the primary stakeholders are concerned more of the single day event.

Status and wedding:
       Right from choosing of the wedding-invitation card till the 14th day sumptuous-feast-event, most of the marriage related events are studded with concerns of flaunting one's status. Even the new age practices like Meghandhi function, Sangeet function, pre/post wedding shoot etc are not free of such feudalist tendencies.
      You have a bunch of wedding-invite cards stacked in your living-room table. Which card will you be attracted to? Wouldn't you(and I) choose the most attractive and glossy card? But does the card serve any purpose other than informing you and I of the wedding function?
    Next time when you see a FOR-REGISTRATION car parked  near the main entrance of the wedding-hall, how would you feel? A 'for-registration' motor-bike is also a common sight in some of the weddings I have had attended. Dowry - volunatry or forced - is a socially formalized, practically normalised, inextricably intervined devious practice in the marriage process.
       But how about flaunting such things so publicly? When did society normalize such ostentatious display of your new-gotten(let me not read it as ill-gotten) wealth? I dont see any difference in the intent behind a new-car parked in the entrance of the hall and that behind a bride wearing bunch of precious jewels ( read GOLD), thus standing as a living-display of gold jewels. Any self-esteemed soul should think about revolting.
          For the most people of our previous generation, new dresses were once a year formality, which one could wear during Deepavali and or Pongal. In that period, Silk dhoties/shirts are considered to be a luxury and hence to be worn once in life time. But now Silk dhoties and shirts are a formality in weddings. Market-mafias had ensured that people pay a premium for this merchandise primarily because it is associated with wedding.
      But what about people telling you that you look complete only when you wear a gold-chain, if you are wearing a silk dhoti/shirt. Peace. Long live.
      When you start normalizing such apparaently not-so-harmful expectations of this society, you become a part of the crime. A crime is a crime whether you are an active or passive participant in it.
         .........rage continues....

Confessions of a groom-to-be

                   Its been a while since I had last visited this blog page. I love hand-written letters. I had written a few and received a countable few.  Perhaps, when I do not know whom to address the letter to, I start recording it here. At other times, when I wanted to be assertive of my opinions, I tend to declare them here. However, I did not find the need to record anything interesting, if not intriguing, of late. Belatedly, something inevitable(not so had I been more considerate) had occurred. And thus I am here.

      I am 32 years and 4 months old, and thus half past my life time.( I may sound conservative to a few and over-generous to few others. Let me hope that I would live for another 32 years atleast). Over the years,I have developed and imbibed certain attributes, attitudes, persuasions, philosophies, idealogies, idiosyncrasies, prejudices, predilections, hypocrisies, hollows etc that define me and make me what I am.

       But I believe in dynamism and therfore would love to embrace change with open mind. I am prepared to be persuaded and influenzed, more so, based on sound arguments, supplementary facts, if not merely based on emotions and impulses. I have an affinity for pursuing democracy in all walks of life( social, political, cultural, economic, global,digital) whose fundamentality is to discuss, deliberate, debate, dissent and decide. It accomdates plurality, facilitates tolerance, promotes acceptance, harmonizes disagreement, and thus harbours inner peace and external harmony.

   With all these forewords I would like to record my thoughts and theologies about wedding, marriage, relationship etc as I am getting married soon. Yes, I am a 32 years old groom-to-be. No regrets; no relishes either.

To Follow:
1. Liberty at stake, only for women, anybody?
2. De-monetization of marriage
3. Love, an observation
4. ..................

             

Dressing Style and Sensitivity

                          Photographs are one of the sweetest, swiftest and spontaneous instrumentality for kindling nostalgic memories and euphoria.  They avail us with the utility of reliving those moments from the past and bring an instant sparkle on our mind about the related events. Recently I got to glance at the very limited photographs which I have had shot during my college days, and the momentary response inside me is not dissuading.

                             

                            With all good memories those photographs brought back to me, it did also pull out some sort of lowly mood bombarded with self disdain for a few people I had shared them with. A comment said, “Oh my badness!!!! How could I be roaming around unashamed wearing LUNGI those days? ” Another sarcastic comment claimed, “I wish I did not wear a shirt this loooong. I am surprised to see my parents’s confidence in the prospects of my fast bodily growth.”  The irony here is that these people had a displeased image for their own past based on their current life style and exposure.

                         This impulse drives me to initiate a debate-which I put as a set of questions below- on the relevance and prominence of, and need for cultural sensitivity and tolerance in an era of globalization and attendant connected living. Because in today’s world, we do encounter people from different regions,States,race, economic status espousing their consequent cultural identity.

                       

                       I am an ardent believer of the Constitutionally guaranteed values like liberty of thought, expression etc as enshrined in the Indian Constitution. So expressing one’s opinion on cultural preferences like his/others dressing doesn’t hurt me but the underlying bias behind such an expression does so.

So what does appropriate and good dressing mean to you?

How do you qualify what is good?

Whats your take on your own dressing style now and a few years back? Do you see any change? If so where did this change come from?

What’s your opinion on the dressing pattern of Cinema actors attending local/global cine-events? Do you see any economic class-difference between you and them?

Do you judge people based on their dressing? Does this judgment have a spill-over effect on your interactions with the concerned person?

If somebody is seen with “poor and inappropriate” dressing sense, do you tend to tell them about that? Or will you be carrying a bad impression about them without letting them know? 

Do your family members- Parents & Siblings- subscribe to your notion of good dressing? 

What’s your take on their dressing?

Why do you think we have a crowded RangaNathan Street in T-Nagar, and luxurious global brands studded Phoenix market City both in Chennai?

Do you know the economic identity associated with global retail market giant Wal-Mart?How would you evaluate a person who is a regular patronizer of Saravana Stores in T.Nagar,Chennai?

Do you look out for the brands of the outfits people wear? How connected are you to person wearing the same brand as yours?

How irritated are you with the people wearing duplicate version of outfits of the same brand you flaunt?

Have you observed the differences in the dressing style of politicians from the southern and the northern part of India? Why are they markedly different? Does it represent anything symbolically?

Do you see any casual relationship between dressing style and the caste group of a person? If so how did you grow such attitude, and how true/unbiased is your evaluation?  

How does religiously determined dressing pattern influence you? 

Independence,Freedom,Dignity,Prejudice (vs) I

                   The President of our country has already given his Independence day speech. The Prime Minister is going to address the country from Red Fort for one another time. Even Pakistani Rangers at the Wagah border had exchanged sweets with Indian Border Security Force however only to militarily violate the ceasefire agreement from another sector(Poonch in Jammu & Kashmir). Neighbourhood school students are slowly 'marching' towards their schools to attend our Independence Day customary flag-hoist-assembly session & to be rewarded with 50 paise chocolate for demonstrating their patriotism. Just like a seasonal sugarcane crop, petti-Shops & junction-corner tea shops are selling our National Flag as a 'commodity'.Few other shirt-pockets around me have such Flags badged to them. All set. We are celebrating our 70th Independence Day.
             I have seen Captain Vijaya Kanth & Action King Arjun fight terrorists, & help secure & protect the territorial integrity of our Country, albeit as a Tamil Cine viewer. Similarly , Major Mukundh Varadarajan & many others,some even in their young ages, have had their life sacrificed while securing our borders. Like a student searching for MADE-EASY notes before semester exam, very particularly during last phase of study holidays,I have a seasonal pursuit of understanding my attachment to this nation, contributions, if any, I have made in promoting this sense of Indian-ness within me &/ others . So what does this Independence day & thus Indian-ness mean to me?
               As a senior Software Engineer, this Independence Day is extra special for me for it has fallen on a Monday. It's a long weekend, you know. Atleast 3 days of unbriddled enjoyment is guaranteed thus. For those non-Tamilians working at Chennai, it seems like an extended long weekend as many of them have 'escaped' from here a few days back itself. So our IT park canteen is free of those Non-Tamilians, whom usually are seen in groups,hardly interactive, speaking non-chalantly yet noisily in their respective mother tongue. Mallu, Golti,Settu,Singhu; no body is here. Thank God. The canteen looks calm & composed without their presence which could be clearly recognized.This groupist behaviour of their's have only alienated me further from them.
               Oh God!!!!How could a Telugu speaking Goltti eat food as pungent as a raw chilly?? It really sucks. I have seen few of them eating rice & curd mixed with raw chilly powder. However it really hurts when an American makes fun of my food preference, especially spicy food preference. Moreover these Telugus are involved in deep centred software-politics promoting their group at the cost of others, another cause of my hatredness for them.
               The Mallus are not good either. They apppear cunningly white-skinned , & fair just externally. I don't find any sense of associativity with the North Indians too. In fact I couldn't differentiate between a Bihari, Voo.P,Maa.P etc. In fact whenever any acts of criminal intent are reported in media, the first thing I do is to check if the accused was a North Indian. This cynicism is further reinforced thanks to the media (activism) reporting like "kolai valakkil 'Vada India' vaalibar kaithu"( NORTH Indian arrested in a murder case). Atleast Chinese -look-alike North East Indians could be identified based on their appearances. I was really scared to know that a few of them are man-hunters, even now. This sort of 'superficial' knowledge & evaluation was very much essential to me so that I dont run the risk of falling into their trap.
                 Fortunately I am ordained not to earn my livelihood from their land, for they may have their own set of evaluation of Tamils, more relevantly Madrasis/Sambars(who take sambar with any/every food item),usually based on prejudiced & unverified info. This would have prevented me from any sense of casual interaction with them had I been to their Mumbai,Noida etc. I heard from my lawyer friend, Indian Constitution has given every Indian citizen the right to free movement, right to reside & settle in any part of India so that a sense of brotherhood, fraternity, comity & thus Indian-ness is evolved & promoted. His lectures on brotherhood, Indian-ness, unlearning the learned prejuidices about other lingual speakers etc unsettled me, only to irritate me .Mokka paiya he is.More relevantly a JOKER.Nevertheless on this Independence Day, I wish the Constitution had given Indians the right to settle in the United States of America.
          Tension paduthraan avan!!!!
            Coming back to this long weekend program, my meticulous planning & proper co-ordination have taken me to Pudhucherry now. We have planned for this trip some 3 months earlier itself. Along with a few other team members, I rode to Puducherry in my 'Royal Enfield(RE) Classic' 350cc motor-bike. The pride in me when I say I own a RE-350, the smile on my face when I type RE, that sense of gethu ownership, that ELITIST feel was really matchless. Every other motor-bikist on road, if not the luxury vehicle owners, look very lowly in my eyes when I ride it.Equality is a misnomer. Elitism is a classy feel indeed. However this endeavour to travel did not happen overnight. I had to convince my spouse who had been insisting me to take her to her native. "I have never been to Tirunelveli for the past one year. Please understand. Its a tedious task for me to balance work & domestic life. I need a break. ", she said. Somehow I had managed to convince her & thus my FREEDOM was ascertained. Perhaps she should learn to enjoy a limited version of freedom, I presume. That 'mokka lawyer' (un)friend gave a hint that its a fundamental duty for every Indian to give up practices derogatory to the dignity of women . Poyaa yoww Joker. !!!
              However the stay here at Puducherry wasn't a complete smooth event. There are two radicalised bachelors in their early 20's amongst us, who are so idealistic & impractical who forced us to watching the recently released Tamil movie,Joker. The movie indeed is a Joker movie, very outlandish & impractical. As a man in his 30's , who is settled in life with a small & cute family, a RE motor-bike, a Hyundai Car & a double bed-room apartment , I could only feel pity for those Joker guys. But I am very sure these guys will have their ideologies changed once they settle in life.You cant keep on taking risks in life & think about leading a socially beneficial life once you understand you are happily settled with a family & OWN some 60 Lakh Rupees outstanding Home-Loan, which you have to repay in your life time. With such responsibilities comes tolerance, compromises, negligence of duty etc unless you are quite exceptional. So I felt its better to stop thinking about Indian-ness, equality , fraternity, patriotism etc instead focus on my pursuit of making all-sort-of-compromises to redeem the loan.
     By the way, I have just had a 10 rupee Indian Flag badged to my shirt pocket.Mind you, its not your One rupee flag.
                  Jai Hind. 

Kabali : Social Relevance

         Just like any other die-hard Rajini (Thaliiivaru) fan, I am obviously inclined to claim the commercial success of the movie KABALI, by itself, as a succes of the movie. However , it appeared to me that the movie has few other positive social elements which many of us may find worth noticing.
        Thalaivar is usually known for his roles as an obedient son(to his mother), protective father, securing brother (of his sisters), suggestive husband who rarely listens to his wife instead teaches how a women should be (I remember a few dialogues from the movies Padaiyappa & Baba suggesting 'womenly' attributes ). However, Kabali is a step in the right direction where Thaliiivaru confirms to his wife's commands, lets his young daughter the task of securing him etc. It is quite obvious to expect so from Pa.Ranjith who himself claims that his movies give equal & strong, if not dominant, screen presence to female characters. It was quite evident in the movie with a character Xxxxxx( mother of Attakathi Dinesh's character). The way the lady expresses her anguish balancing her self-respect & mental agony is indicative of the strength a woman yields within herself. Kabali's wife & daughter are obviously strong. Also unlike other usual movies, Pa.Ranjith's characterisation of female roles portray women's strength, economic contribution, and more importantly a very loud voice as an indicator of their suppressed power perhaps. Particularly in this movie , the role of Fathima & Meena as the main pillars of a rehabilitation centre cum school warrants appreciation understanding the nuances in it.
      I, myself, is a patron of promising fair-skin-products, sun-screen-filters etc because mainstream media & casual social interaction imbibes within me the belief "All that is Fair is lovely, & only Fair is Handsome." Thus I might have gone convinced when Thaliivaru is usually painted in 'White' to give a fairy make over for him. But presenting him without such extra-alagu elements & even having a scene portraying the female lead to be attracted mainly to the black skin of Kabali shall give a sense of associativity to many of us & painlessly questions the basic notion "Black skin is not that appealing." I have seen people evaluate bridal pairs as follows:
" Beautiful bride for an unmatching Karrruppppuuuu groom; Bride looks pretty & homely (latchanamaa is the exact Tamil word usage I have heard then) despite being black. "
      I have a natural affinity towards looking for unique cultural elements portrayed through movies viz the local slang, domestic cuisines etc. I did observe the repeated usage of the word PONNI(I think so) in this movie. I think it might be used to express anything in its superlative degree among Malaysian Tamils. Dialogues like PONNI taste, PONNIIII Azhagu etc were present . Similarly there were local words referring to drugs,weapons etc (Katti Maathrathu,sarakku in Malaysia (vs) Tamilnadu). CHADAIYAN was used to refer to Chinese it seems. It might very well come along with all prejudices associated with such usage , as we could see in the case of referring to South Indians as Madrasis, North Indians as Saettu etc. The common social outlook about a Madrasi is that he is black skinned, nationally non-integrative, enimical to Hindi, speaks a very very difficult language Tamil. Also as a token of respect Tamils use the suffix "R" while "N" is usually a denigrating reference. Eg: The names of all castes in Tamilnadu's official records were corrected like BrahmanaR, MukkuvaR, VannaaR, VellaalaR from the previously apparent demeaning references like "BrahmanaN, MukkuvaN, VannaaN". So ChadaiyaN may have in itself similar prejudices ,I guess. Any attempts at correcting such racial prejudices could be tried through Cinema , not just capturing it in its reality.
      Having captured the life of people from North Chennai as realistically as possible including their interests in Hip-Hop, foot ball, actual MADRAS slang etc the natural next level progress for Pa.Ranjith was to initiate some debates about the problems people belonging to socially backward & marginalised classes face. Although many social groups have had their lives captured in mainstream cinema through a variety of movies, the screen space provided for people belonging to further lower social strata was very limited & Pa.Ranjith has filled such vacuum with his movies so far. To quote a scene from the movie Kabali, if we closely observe the facial reaction of Yogi(Kabali's daugther) when she meets a person claiming to be coming from MADRAS and juxtapose it with her reaction when the same person helps securing her family, the guilt within her was expressed subtly. The power of visual media is that it does not require dialogues all the time to convey emotions. Visuals suffice. Such skin based, face focused, slang determined prejudices we have for our fellow beings are covertly dealt with in this movie.
     In an era of globalization & urban centric economic development, it becomes very mandatory for every social group to live in comity with fellow groups, tolerant to & accomodative of various cultural practices. That certainly requires basic understanding of each others cultural space & to act accordingly. Cinema could help in achieving this however without providing any space for honouring repressive social practices & without pitting different social groups against each other.