It cant get better anymore. This is the moment. Let me share my thoughts on wedding.
We dont usually care about the society except when we are worried about what the society thinks of us. This invisible character- society- although not invincible does influenze our decisions.
I find it difficult to digest the fact that wedding gets prioritized over marriage. Marriage is a gateway to longterm relationship but wedding is a mere socio-legal formalisation of that marriage process.
Wedding is single day event but marriage is an enduring commitment founded on trust, respect, love, mutuality, esteem etc. Wedding serves social purpose of informing the society of a couple's engagement in a new relationship but marriage has biological, psychological purpose too.
Ideally the focus should have been on marriage rather than wedding. We are missing the wood for the tree. Some marriages end up as a disaster precisely because the primary stakeholders are concerned more of the single day event.
Status and wedding:
Right from choosing of the wedding-invitation card till the 14th day sumptuous-feast-event, most of the marriage related events are studded with concerns of flaunting one's status. Even the new age practices like Meghandhi function, Sangeet function, pre/post wedding shoot etc are not free of such feudalist tendencies.
You have a bunch of wedding-invite cards stacked in your living-room table. Which card will you be attracted to? Wouldn't you(and I) choose the most attractive and glossy card? But does the card serve any purpose other than informing you and I of the wedding function?
Next time when you see a FOR-REGISTRATION car parked near the main entrance of the wedding-hall, how would you feel? A 'for-registration' motor-bike is also a common sight in some of the weddings I have had attended. Dowry - volunatry or forced - is a socially formalized, practically normalised, inextricably intervined devious practice in the marriage process.
But how about flaunting such things so publicly? When did society normalize such ostentatious display of your new-gotten(let me not read it as ill-gotten) wealth? I dont see any difference in the intent behind a new-car parked in the entrance of the hall and that behind a bride wearing bunch of precious jewels ( read GOLD), thus standing as a living-display of gold jewels. Any self-esteemed soul should think about revolting.
For the most people of our previous generation, new dresses were once a year formality, which one could wear during Deepavali and or Pongal. In that period, Silk dhoties/shirts are considered to be a luxury and hence to be worn once in life time. But now Silk dhoties and shirts are a formality in weddings. Market-mafias had ensured that people pay a premium for this merchandise primarily because it is associated with wedding.
But what about people telling you that you look complete only when you wear a gold-chain, if you are wearing a silk dhoti/shirt. Peace. Long live.
When you start normalizing such apparaently not-so-harmful expectations of this society, you become a part of the crime. A crime is a crime whether you are an active or passive participant in it.
.........rage continues....
Status and wedding:
Right from choosing of the wedding-invitation card till the 14th day sumptuous-feast-event, most of the marriage related events are studded with concerns of flaunting one's status. Even the new age practices like Meghandhi function, Sangeet function, pre/post wedding shoot etc are not free of such feudalist tendencies.
You have a bunch of wedding-invite cards stacked in your living-room table. Which card will you be attracted to? Wouldn't you(and I) choose the most attractive and glossy card? But does the card serve any purpose other than informing you and I of the wedding function?
Next time when you see a FOR-REGISTRATION car parked near the main entrance of the wedding-hall, how would you feel? A 'for-registration' motor-bike is also a common sight in some of the weddings I have had attended. Dowry - volunatry or forced - is a socially formalized, practically normalised, inextricably intervined devious practice in the marriage process.
But how about flaunting such things so publicly? When did society normalize such ostentatious display of your new-gotten(let me not read it as ill-gotten) wealth? I dont see any difference in the intent behind a new-car parked in the entrance of the hall and that behind a bride wearing bunch of precious jewels ( read GOLD), thus standing as a living-display of gold jewels. Any self-esteemed soul should think about revolting.
For the most people of our previous generation, new dresses were once a year formality, which one could wear during Deepavali and or Pongal. In that period, Silk dhoties/shirts are considered to be a luxury and hence to be worn once in life time. But now Silk dhoties and shirts are a formality in weddings. Market-mafias had ensured that people pay a premium for this merchandise primarily because it is associated with wedding.
But what about people telling you that you look complete only when you wear a gold-chain, if you are wearing a silk dhoti/shirt. Peace. Long live.
When you start normalizing such apparaently not-so-harmful expectations of this society, you become a part of the crime. A crime is a crime whether you are an active or passive participant in it.
.........rage continues....
No comments:
Post a Comment